Anticipation

Anticipation is one of those things that many people usually like, but it can sometimes end up being a real bummer. Most people when they anticipate something it is because they know that what they are waiting for is a sure thing, and just the excitement of waiting for that sure thing to come along can be quite enjoyable. Kind of like when you were a kid and were anticipating waking up in the morning to find your presents wrapped under the tree just waiting for you to tear into them. The flip side of anticipation is when you expect the outcome to be what you want and it ends up being the opposite. Instead of joy you end up feeling disappointment.

I am experiencing plenty of anticipation but in a form that's neither of the ones that I just mentioned. I have had two interviews, both of which went well, and I'm anticipating a call from both respective employer. I'm not sure if I'll get either job. Truthfully I'm not worried if I get the jobs or not. Neither of them are really what I want to do and they're pay decreases from my last salary. Still, it would be nice to know that I still have some killer interview skills and that people want to hire me. What I really anticipate is the possible job I have at a pharma company. I talked to the recruiter today and found that while I was submitted for a job that I didn't really qualify for they liked my resume and apparently are trying to make a job for me in the salary range I want. The process, however, has been drawn out due to the fact that key players have been on and off vacation due to the school year closing in. The anticipation that I feel is wondering how it'll all end up. I'm prepared for both the good and/or the bad. I just want to know. Where's a decent crystal ball when you need one.

Knowing what I know now also leaves me in the situation of trying to decide what would be my best course of action with the other two prospective jobs. Do I take one if one's offered only to turn around and quit when offered a better job that I knew might be coming down the pike? It seems kind of back handed and mean to those who are seriously considering me, but then lots of other people do it to. Maybe the phrase "you do what you have to do" fits well in this situation. Again, if I just knew how it was all going to play out then I would know exactly what to do. There would be no anticipation. Instead I have to play it by ear and make my best judgement call.

Why can't I go back to being able to anticipate waking up and opening presents again?