Starting Over

I sit here in an empty shell. Today we signed the papers to close on the house. It's no longer mine. Most of the furniture is gone having been moved to the apartment, hence the empty shell. This is one more reminder of the fact that nearly all I have in my life is gone. I've lost my marriage, job, and home. The only thing I really have right now are my parents and my sister.

I have to start over. I have a job now but it's not really what I want to do, but I am looking. Marriage? I'm not sure if I really believe in marriage anymore. It just seems our culture has adopted the attitude that if you want out of something just quit. I'm not saying that I won't become involved with someone again but I'm not sure if I'll invest to the point of marriage. As for the home... eh that's really the smallest part of the loss. There's plenty of homes out there and I'll have one again someday.

Honestly, it's not really the house, or the job or even my failed marriage that bums me out the most. It's the fact that by having start over I have to wait that much longer to be able to start a family.