Well here I am at work. Currently it's 2:30 and I have yet to really do anything to help the night pass by any quicker. I don't even really have anything to even remotely keep me busy. There's no little cleaning projects or anything that I can do. The one project that could take some time already took up the first two hours of the night when I did it. I don't have my book to read... left it a the apartment. I knew I had forgot something when I left. The person I usually talk to during the nights when it's slow has the night off and I can only read so many articles on the internet before my eyes bugg out.
Some one save me or please make it 7 a.m.!!!!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
That Shoulder
Tonight was an odd night for us. It's been a long time since you've just crawled into bed like that with me. I didn't turn you away although the thought crossed my mind, just like it always does when you suggest hanging out. That's a reflex reaction though. Distance myself, get away, don't be pulled back into what was as I fear I might. Yet I didn't. I gave you what I thought you needed. Someone to hold you and just be there for you. I admit, I miss us being close like that and at the same time I don't.
It was odd for me being there like that tonight. There was no self satisfaction for me in your suffering, no thinking that maybe things will turn around, just the simple feeling a friend has for another when they wish to try and help if they can. I guess that means I'm truly past what we used to have. I miss it and I always will but I have moved on. I've made friends and have those friends to hang out with. I don't have to be alone. I hope that you can find the same thing as well, but I fear that you're so wrapped up in what you want that you can't do anything else but chase it.
I hope you find your happiness. I hate to see you sad. I always have. I always wanted to make you happy and while I couldn't do that for you I can offer that shoulder if you need it.
It was odd for me being there like that tonight. There was no self satisfaction for me in your suffering, no thinking that maybe things will turn around, just the simple feeling a friend has for another when they wish to try and help if they can. I guess that means I'm truly past what we used to have. I miss it and I always will but I have moved on. I've made friends and have those friends to hang out with. I don't have to be alone. I hope that you can find the same thing as well, but I fear that you're so wrapped up in what you want that you can't do anything else but chase it.
I hope you find your happiness. I hate to see you sad. I always have. I always wanted to make you happy and while I couldn't do that for you I can offer that shoulder if you need it.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Down with the sickness!!!
Well as you may or may not be able to imply by the title of this post I have been sick as of late. I am for the most part over this cold. I have about a quarter of a lung left, which I think is enough to survive on for the remainder of my life. I don't get sick often but I have been sick twice now in two months. I have no idea what's going on in that respect. I usually only get sick once a year. Technically I'm still on course for that since the two month span was between December and January, but I can't remember the last time I was sick that soon again.
Personally, I blame the weather for the second round of crap that I suffered through. As I explained in my previous post we had some crazy f'ed up weather the previous week. I think it's also the reason that this stuff was a little more determined to hang around with me for awhile as well.
Typically when I say I'm sick I have a head cold that causes me to not be able to breath through my nose, I feel congested and stuffy and my brain is functioning at less than optimum capacity. I am rarely so sick that I can't go to work or do day to day activities. In fact I'm usually never sick more than a one to two days before I'm back to 100%. The two times here was no exception except that the second round of flew took about a week to get over. Odd that. Hopefully my immune system has decided to come back from its hiatus to see the carnage left from its time away to say to itself, "Damn!!! I leave for a month and this happens? Ok time for me to pump some iron and get this place back to a lean mean germ butt kicking machine!!" Otherwise I'm gonna catch the freakin bubonic plague next time.
Personally, I blame the weather for the second round of crap that I suffered through. As I explained in my previous post we had some crazy f'ed up weather the previous week. I think it's also the reason that this stuff was a little more determined to hang around with me for awhile as well.
Typically when I say I'm sick I have a head cold that causes me to not be able to breath through my nose, I feel congested and stuffy and my brain is functioning at less than optimum capacity. I am rarely so sick that I can't go to work or do day to day activities. In fact I'm usually never sick more than a one to two days before I'm back to 100%. The two times here was no exception except that the second round of flew took about a week to get over. Odd that. Hopefully my immune system has decided to come back from its hiatus to see the carnage left from its time away to say to itself, "Damn!!! I leave for a month and this happens? Ok time for me to pump some iron and get this place back to a lean mean germ butt kicking machine!!" Otherwise I'm gonna catch the freakin bubonic plague next time.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
So ummm.. how's the weather in your area?
Ok I've got a question for everyone. Who pissed off Mother Nature? Was it you? How about you? Did we, as a collective group (meaning all humans), do it? Because if you ask me I think that right now she's messing with our heads because she's pissed off at us. One week ago it was pretty cold in the heartland. Teens here in Memphis, single digits in Missouri, and now it's in the freakin 70's. The 70's!!!! I'm ready to break out the shorts in freakin January. Wasn't I just home three weeks ago where it snowed? I'm so confused.
I think that's what Mother Nature wants. She's pissed of and has decided to show her wrath by changing the seasons around. I'm sure that by tomorrow there will be 10 inches on the ground and the next day we'll be at 80. Maybe in the Summer we'll have to turn our heat back on. The scientists will claim that it's global warming, and they may be right. But me, I think I'm gonna go buy me a nice sacrificial goat just in case.
... ... ...
But you know now that I think about it maybe I've got this all wrong. Maybe Mother Nature isn't pissed at all. Maybe she's in a good mood and decided to help us little folk out by warming it up so that we wouldn't have to run our heaters, which with the price of natural gas is killing everyone. Or maybe she's kicking it back with Father Time smoking a fattie saying, "Hey Time, check this shit out! Watch me freak the people out by changing the seasons on them in January! Hahahahahahaha!!!"
To which Time would respond, "Are you sure you should do that Nature... I mean Al Gore is doing wonders for spreading the word of global warming. And Toyota makes the Prius and stuff like that."
Nature would respond, "Damn, Time why do you always have to be a buzz kill? You're just jealous because you can't screw with them like I can. Now where's those Doritos? I've got a serious case of the munchies."
Yep that's it people. We're experiencing crazy winter weather because Mother Nature is smoking a fattie with Father Time. I'm sure that's what it is. If we wait for her buzz to wear off things will go back to normal. But I am going to get that goat just in case.
I think that's what Mother Nature wants. She's pissed of and has decided to show her wrath by changing the seasons around. I'm sure that by tomorrow there will be 10 inches on the ground and the next day we'll be at 80. Maybe in the Summer we'll have to turn our heat back on. The scientists will claim that it's global warming, and they may be right. But me, I think I'm gonna go buy me a nice sacrificial goat just in case.
... ... ...
But you know now that I think about it maybe I've got this all wrong. Maybe Mother Nature isn't pissed at all. Maybe she's in a good mood and decided to help us little folk out by warming it up so that we wouldn't have to run our heaters, which with the price of natural gas is killing everyone. Or maybe she's kicking it back with Father Time smoking a fattie saying, "Hey Time, check this shit out! Watch me freak the people out by changing the seasons on them in January! Hahahahahahaha!!!"
To which Time would respond, "Are you sure you should do that Nature... I mean Al Gore is doing wonders for spreading the word of global warming. And Toyota makes the Prius and stuff like that."
Nature would respond, "Damn, Time why do you always have to be a buzz kill? You're just jealous because you can't screw with them like I can. Now where's those Doritos? I've got a serious case of the munchies."
Yep that's it people. We're experiencing crazy winter weather because Mother Nature is smoking a fattie with Father Time. I'm sure that's what it is. If we wait for her buzz to wear off things will go back to normal. But I am going to get that goat just in case.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Giddy as a School Girl
Wow!!! Didn't think I'd find someone who has as much in common with me as quickly as I did. Talked to her online for the entire night Wednesday then after I got off work Thursday morning talked to her for another four hours over the phone. I've talked to her tons in the last three days and I can't wait to meet her. I'm giddy, nervous and scared all at the same time.
I'm giddy because of the possibility this may hold, that and she's just fun to talk to. She's sweet and sends me little text messages telling to have a good day. I haven't had someone do that in a long time. It brings a smile to my face every time.
I'm nervous because we actually haven't met yet. What if she doesn't like me or I'm stupid and find some small detail and sabotage the whole thing. I don't really think any of that will happen but still it makes me nervous.
I'm scared because I'm trying to keep myself from jumping headlong into something that, while has the potential to be something, if I move to fast I'm gonna get hurt again.
In the end I know I shouldn't worry about any of it. I should just let things be as they'll be and just go along for the ride.
I'm giddy because of the possibility this may hold, that and she's just fun to talk to. She's sweet and sends me little text messages telling to have a good day. I haven't had someone do that in a long time. It brings a smile to my face every time.
I'm nervous because we actually haven't met yet. What if she doesn't like me or I'm stupid and find some small detail and sabotage the whole thing. I don't really think any of that will happen but still it makes me nervous.
I'm scared because I'm trying to keep myself from jumping headlong into something that, while has the potential to be something, if I move to fast I'm gonna get hurt again.
In the end I know I shouldn't worry about any of it. I should just let things be as they'll be and just go along for the ride.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
What will the new year bring?
Well it's a new year finally. 2007 sure had a lot of ups and downs although I think more downs than anything. Hopefully 2008 will be better for me. I spent a good amount of time thinking of a good new years resolution but instead only came up with things that I was already planning on doing and will likely do. Here's a few of them:
1) Move out of the apartment that I share with E and into my own.
2) Either maintain my current job as a chemist or hopefully find another embryologist job somewhere.
3) Begin either getting ready to go into Grad school or med school for next year.
4) Get out and start making new friends and dating.
5) Get divorced.
6) Pay off a sizable chunk of money that's owed to my in laws.
I think those six items should keep me fairly busy for this year and if not then I have a few other items that, while they will likely not occur this year, are in my future plans.
1) Eventually get a house again (likely after the housing market finally bottoms out)
2) Start a family someday.
3) Become an M.D., D.O. or Ph.D.
In the end though this year taught me not to try to plan things out to far in advance because all of your best laid plans can come crashing down in an instant. So while I ask myself, "I wonder what this year will bring?" I know that whatever it is I'll be taking it one day at a time.
1) Move out of the apartment that I share with E and into my own.
2) Either maintain my current job as a chemist or hopefully find another embryologist job somewhere.
3) Begin either getting ready to go into Grad school or med school for next year.
4) Get out and start making new friends and dating.
5) Get divorced.
6) Pay off a sizable chunk of money that's owed to my in laws.
I think those six items should keep me fairly busy for this year and if not then I have a few other items that, while they will likely not occur this year, are in my future plans.
1) Eventually get a house again (likely after the housing market finally bottoms out)
2) Start a family someday.
3) Become an M.D., D.O. or Ph.D.
In the end though this year taught me not to try to plan things out to far in advance because all of your best laid plans can come crashing down in an instant. So while I ask myself, "I wonder what this year will bring?" I know that whatever it is I'll be taking it one day at a time.
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