That Shoulder

Tonight was an odd night for us. It's been a long time since you've just crawled into bed like that with me. I didn't turn you away although the thought crossed my mind, just like it always does when you suggest hanging out. That's a reflex reaction though. Distance myself, get away, don't be pulled back into what was as I fear I might. Yet I didn't. I gave you what I thought you needed. Someone to hold you and just be there for you. I admit, I miss us being close like that and at the same time I don't.

It was odd for me being there like that tonight. There was no self satisfaction for me in your suffering, no thinking that maybe things will turn around, just the simple feeling a friend has for another when they wish to try and help if they can. I guess that means I'm truly past what we used to have. I miss it and I always will but I have moved on. I've made friends and have those friends to hang out with. I don't have to be alone. I hope that you can find the same thing as well, but I fear that you're so wrapped up in what you want that you can't do anything else but chase it.

I hope you find your happiness. I hate to see you sad. I always have. I always wanted to make you happy and while I couldn't do that for you I can offer that shoulder if you need it.